School is Almost Over - We Should be Celebrating (but we're not)

Author: Dr. Blair Green PT, DPT, OCS, PHC

Tomorrow is the last day of school for my high school junior. LET’S GO!!! No more wake up struggles until August. I can sleep a little later if I want. Who am I kidding? I’ll still get up at 5:30. There are things to do before I go to work. By the time it was 7:30am today, I had already…

• Loaded the dishwasher
• Fed the cats
• Made lunch
• Cleaned Leah’s breakfast
• Stretched my body and did some deep breathing
• Listened to a zoom call recording, took notes, responded and started an action plan

And before you say it, I'm not trying to toot my own horn or pass myself off as some kind of wonder woman. The truth is, so many other moms are doing the same:

• Wake up before everyone
• Do “work” before work
• Manage full time job
• Do second job (of mom in evening)
• Go to bed last

It’s a common pattern and one that leaves me puzzled nearly every day.

Why is it ok for all moms to feel like they are saving the world, keeping their families afloat, doing ALL the things, exercising, building a career and still making it home in time for dinner (and oh yeah - she probably cooks that too)?

Honestly, it’s not! I know, not what you expected to read from me, the person who talks about how we can find the balance, avoid overwhelm and be the moms and women we want to be. Don’t get me wrong - I love my family. My husband and kids bring me joy like no other. However, I still believe that we all can do better. And by “we,” I mean our society, collectively. It continues to amaze me that this is the norm. Especially when I see so many women walk into my office exhausted, overwhelmed and looking for help.

The endless cycle of lack of sleep, lack of support, increasing responsibilities and so much more that leaves women defeated and deflated. Ready to quit. Which, many times, leads to inflammation, hormone disruption, and pain. It’s no wonder women are screaming for help. Most days, I can provide that outlet and path for more calm and balance. But, today, instead of saying, you can find a way out, I’m here to lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, a hug of support. Because in an ideal world, yes, we can make time for ourselves, but in the reality of life, there are days and weeks where we just can’t. It’s not my place, or anyone’s, to blame and shame (even though my husband does get an earful from me). 

I would like to think we are moving beyond these patterns. In some cases, we are. I see women asking for help. I see partners chipping in when and where they can. I know that we all want what is best for our own physical and mental health, and to keep our families whole. Unfortunately, culture has not caught up. Women continue to be under-represented, under-researched and underfunded in the medical world. In this scenario, which plays out perpetually, and always seems to reach a peak as the end of school approaches, I am here to be your ally - your real-life or virtual support person and advocate. I’m right here with you in the trenches. Taking on the stress, trying to figure it out for myself, and for all of you. How can we do better? 

But not until next week… school is ending and vacation is only 3 days away. Let the packing commence!